Yes, your eyes read the right thing. Mango-haters. Unlike John Cena ,haters of this fruit exist and are normal people you can see! All these years you have felt alone and alien, as literally the world around you judged you for being a you-know-what-hater. All I have to say is that, I UNDERSTAND. So, here are 10 relatable things for Mango-haters. Read to feel like you belong in this world where people would just hate you for not liking it and tell you, “Man-go’
You don’t understand the hype
Seriously though. People literally go crazy in the summers. So much so that they would rob off a mango-vendor! What use is the hype and love for the fruit if you cannot behave like humans?
Other than people’s lack of humanity and basic etiquettes, the crazy obsession for the fruit really makes our eyes roll. And what is it with declaring summers as mango-season only. Mother Nature basks in the bounty of the sun in the summer. The most fertile season for all produce. So, stop labelling summers as mango-season alone.
It’s just another fruit
‘King of Fruits’? Please someone tell me when was this Game of Thrones declared for fruits? WHEN? Because, people behave as if no other fruit exists on planet Earth. Well, helloooo Berries, apples, muskmelon, oranges, and pineapples. They exist too and are just as delicious.
How come everybody has a childhood mango story
This one just puts off my mood like crazy. I mean every person literally has a cliche childhood farm story. It’s understandable when your parents talk about Raju-chacha’s farm. But bro, you are a millennial from a city. You grew up looking at the weed growing out the concrete! Stop faffing so much yaa
Oh the gazillion recipes
Aamras, shrikhand, pisum, burfi, you name it and there is a recipe attached. Oh my God! I wonder if chefs celebrate Diwali in Summers, because coming up with “unquie” mango recipes that for sure people are gonna go crazy about looks like a business strategy to me.
Summer season just auto-corrects itself to yellow colour I feel. Yellow mango hoarding everywhere. I feel the fruit is so yellow that even the Sun gets the complex. It is not even surprising, it’s yellow on the inside also. What a boring fruit.
Yuckss, it is disgustingly squishy. I could never understand if the fruit is rotten or just naturally disgustingly squishy. Makes me cringe when I watch people suck the soul out of it. Like, bro watch it’s dripping down your arm!!!
Mango and the thousand varieties
I just remember Alphonso. But, my mother can just smell the fruit with a blindfold and name the exact variety, genus, family, origin, date of harvesting too. I am like, “Maa calm down ‘langda’ will run away if you squeeze it one more time.”
Mango-juice 365 days? Really!
Katerina Kaif in an exotic location, with motor impairment (lady can’t even put the juice in her mouth!) is the way of declaring the mango business open for the market. People need to understand that companies are just too clever to read through your weakness for the fruit. They profit off by selling you chemically grazed fruit juice. Just because you would buy it , you crazy MaFo (Mango-fan)
This doesn’t make me an “apple lover”
This is the most ill-logical, brain freezing assumption people make about mango-haters. How does not loving mango make me an apple lover. This is just like politics, bold of you to assume I am left-wing if I say I don’t like right-wing.
NO.This is not an allergy
Ahhh, for the nth time. NO I am not allergic to mangoes. I eat mangoes occasionally like a normal person, except making my entire existence meaningful because of mangoes.
So, to all my fellow mango-haters and mango-lovers let’s not create a bias over a fruit. Because whatever you may be your opinion on mangoes,I bet you will love this mango-product the most. Trust me, the most relatable thing for a mango-hater is to buy this product for all the mango-lovers they know( half the earth) and tell them to leave us mango-haters is peace. Because, once they get obsessed with this product they won’t bother judging you for hating mangoes. But, will thank you for this amazing gift.